Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
