man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
