So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
