i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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