He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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