i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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