I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
