Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
