I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize