it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
