Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
