youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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