yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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