i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't turn off my feet"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize