This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
