If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
