Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
