i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
