Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
