eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
