He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
