Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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