Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
