he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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