Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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