Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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