so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
