I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
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You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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