i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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