I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
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Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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