Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
