At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
