I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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