my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
