but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
