She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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