I'm eating all of the evidence.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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