I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there's paper in my vomit.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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