sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
