I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
