I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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