Already got asked if we're dating
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They are going to name an STD after you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
