Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
