I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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