his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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