I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
