there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
