i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
