I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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