Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
