Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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