I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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