I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
