The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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