idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
