I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
