I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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