did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
