Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
