u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
only if we run a train.
done.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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