Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
