I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
