Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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